Probably, no one will argue with the fact that in family relationships the main thing is love and mutual understanding. But it happens that the same thoughts, feelings and views on problems - all this evaporates somewhere after a few years after the wedding. What should be done to establish mutual understanding in the family, how to learn to look at the world with one eyes? Or, if you have ceased to understand each other, then everything on the relationship can be crossed?
How to find mutual understanding in the family?
To answer this question, it is necessary to understand how mutual understanding arises between people. It is tempting to say that it appears on its own, because, falling in love, we do not make any effort to understand our soul mate, everything goes by itself. So why after some time of joint life we have to solve the problem of lack of mutual understanding in the family, where does it disappear?
In fact, nothing disappears, just when you get to know a man and a woman, there is a so-called primary stage of mutual understanding, based on similar interests and attachments. But when people start living together, they open up to each other from a new angle, and now they have to work to achieve full mutual understanding in relations, because they can not be identical with the views of two people. So, if you have recently started to quarrel often and complain about the misunderstanding of your second half, nothing tragic is here, just you need to stop and think about why this is happening. To understand this, pay attention to the following points.
- Often two people can not understand each other just because they do not talk about their problems and desires. Understand, no matter how smart you are, you can not read each other's thoughts. Therefore, stop talking with half-hints, they will all only further confuse. Speak directly and clearly what you like and what not to like, voice your desires.
- To achieve mutual understanding, psychology advises to learn to listen to another person, but this is impossible if communication occurs on elevated tones. We can assume that we have told our beloved many times, what is the problem and sincerely resent that he did not pay attention to our words. But the point here is not in his indifference, but in the fact that all the claims were made during the quarrel. Because during such communication it is not necessary to understand the interlocutor, but only to win the argument. So everything you say will not be taken seriously.
- A lot of quarrels begin because people do not get what they want from a partner (relationship). Sometimes the difficulties arise because of understatement - we just do not tell the partner what
from him we wait. And sometimes we make too high demands. Therefore, analyze your desires, think about whether it really is for you, or whether you want something only because others have it. - Take into account the wishes of the other. Remember that your partner is also waiting for something from you. Mutual understanding between people depends on how much they know how to respect each other's desires.
As you have already understood, the key to mutual understanding lies in the ability to make you heard and want to listen to someone else. Together, you can always find an option that would suit both.