Growing up, children gain experience and experience an increasingly wide range of emotional experiences. And even this seemingly adult feeling, like jealousy, is very often manifested in children.
The life of a child up to 7-8 years old, until he is assimilated in the school collective, passes in the family and is closely associated with it. Family for the child is the most important. Therefore, children's jealousy mainly arises in relation to the closest members of their family, most often to the mother. In this case, the kid can be jealous of his mother to his brother (sister), to his stepfather or even to his father.
Why there is jealousy between children in the family, what to do if the child is jealous and whether it can be avoided - look for answers to your questions in this article!
Jealousy of an older child to a newborn
When a child appears in the family, mother willy-nilly begins to give him much more attention. A crumb does not remain unattended for a minute: it needs to be fed, bathed, walked and played with it. This can not fail to notice the older child, because earlier this time my mother spent with him. It is completely logical and natural that he wants to return the attention of the most important person in his life, doing everything possible for this. Moreover, an older child may even have the idea that his mother no longer loves him, that he is bad or something has been wronged, that's why his parents started a new, better, more obedient kid. From the perspective of an adult, this assumption does not make sense, but the child has his own logic, and he can quite convince himself of it, suffering from jealousy.
In addition, parents often attract older siblings to help with caring for the baby. In principle, this is the right approach, but here there are some nuances. It's one thing when a child is awarded the honorary title of "big brother (sister)" and politely ask for help (give sliders or a clean diaper, play with the baby, etc.), and he has the right to refuse it. And it's quite another if the parents demand from him this help on the grounds that he is now the elder and is obliged to help. Such a situation can lead a child out of psychological balance, because he himself is still a child, and does not understand why he should do it. From this, the eldest child is even more jealous of the younger.
How to minimize jealousy between children?
To ensure that the jealousy of the older child to the younger did not cause numerous quarrels and grievances, this must be taken care of even before the birth of the crumbs. We offer you some tips that will help to cope with the problem of childish jealousy.
- Preparing for the birth of the second child, tell the elder that he will soon have a little brother or sister, how wonderful it is when there are many children in the family.
- With the appearance of the baby, you, of course, will have much less time. But try to at least 20-30 minutes a day to give the older child personally. Let it be games, interesting to him, developing classes or just communication - this is not essential. The main thing is for the child to feel that you are interested in his life and he is still important to you. Do not hesitate to tell him about your love, to show tenderness, to kiss and hug the eldest - he needs it now!
- When you are very busy and can not deal with your child, send him for a walk with your dad, grandparent or grandfather. Let at this time he feels himself not deprived of the attention of adults, but, conversely, in the center of events.
- For the same reason it is advisable to consult with him in all family matters: where to go for a walk, what to cook for dinner, etc. This will give the child confidence that he is, first, a full member of the family, and, secondly , really senior (after all, with a younger one no one is advised).
- Do not ask for help from him: let it be from time to time, but voluntarily, according to one's own will.
- Seeing how mother cares about the younger child, the elder can in the search of the same attention and care begin to behave quite childish: crying, bad talking, capricious. Do not scold him for it, because it's just a way to achieve your goal. Allow the child to behave so with impunity, and soon he will get tired of it. Explain to him that you are already very fond of him, and do not react to vagaries:
then he will eventually realize that such behavior is ineffective. - No less important is the question of how to divide toys. Children often notice that the younger ones are given their former sliders, strollers, rattles . If the kid does not want his toy to become the property of a younger brother or sister, let him leave it at home. And the best thing is, if you immediately ask what he is ready to give the baby to, and what he would like to keep (several things to choose from).
Adhering to these recommendations, you can easily establish relationships between children in the family.