It happens that for different reasons families become incomplete . It is very difficult to explain in such a situation to the child why mom and dad will no longer live together. It is much more difficult to bring a "new" father to the house and introduce him to the crumb. Agree that the main thing in this situation is the issue of trust between mother and baby, because only then he will be able to believe and accept a new member of the family.
Possible behavior scenarios
It's safe to say that everyone has familiar women who remarried and faced difficult situations when a new man in the house appears:
- the child began to behave poorly in constantly arranging scenes and is capricious;
- some babies on the contrary close in themselves and do not allow either mother or a new member of the family;
- it happens that the child begins to lie and cheat (frequent illnesses or contrived problems), if only my mother was always nearby.
All these are ways to attract attention and concentrate near yourself the maximum amount of mother time. To be angry or to abuse the child for it is impossible. This is a sure sign that you have not prepared the way for the emergence of a new pope. The first thing you need to understand, the child also has the right to vote and bad behavior the only way is the right to use.
To avoid problems, you must prepare everything in advance and hint to your child that a new person will soon appear in the house. This process is lengthy and will require a lot of patience and tact. And you have to work both with the child and with the potential dad.
How to prepare the soil?
- Never put a crumb before the fact. As for an adult, such a surprise for a baby can be a real problem. Nobody likes sudden news and can not immediately figure out how to behave properly. If it so happened that you presented such a "surprise" to the child, be prepared for the most sudden reaction and do not scold your child for it.
- It is best to gradually acquaint him with the children as you become acquainted with a potential husband. Of course, you must first be sure of your chosen one. When this happens, do not leave the child out and take it with you for walks. So you can look at the reaction of a person in different situations (because children do not always behave perfectly) and the attitude of their baby to him.
- If you have already introduced the child to a future father, sometimes remember about him in conversation and try to find out what the kid himself thinks. If everything is in order and the little one shows sympathy, try to make it clear that this person is not quite an outsider and you miss him. Otherwise, ask what exactly is the guard of the child.
- Work is necessary and with his man, too. You must help him pick up the key to the child. Tell us about his hobbies, problems and important events. Do not try to buy love with toys or expensive gifts. He must win the confidence of frankness and put the baby to him.
- After a while, try to leave a new family friend for the night. This is much better than to invent a new reason for your child, why you leave until the morning from home. It is possible that the kid himself will propose, in time, to remain a new acquaintance for you for a day or two.
- You should understand that first of all children are afraid of losing their mother, which is why they are wary of her potential "kidnapper". Do not scold or blame the child if he does not want to communicate with a new acquaintance or tries to find in him a bad one. This is a protective reaction and your task is to instill confidence that the child will continue to be loved and appreciated.