The participation of grandparents in the upbringing of a child, as a rule, is determined by a number of factors, among which we can distinguish:
- employment of grandmothers (we will talk about them, since it is the grandmothers who in most cases are engaged in upbringing) - if the grandmother is young, energetic and not ready to leave her job, her communication with her grandchildren, as a rule, amounts to walks and appointments on weekends. Grandmothers-pensioners can understandably give babies much more time;
- residence - a significant role is played by where the grandmothers live - in one apartment with a young family or in another city. The range of distance is basically directly proportional to the strength and intensity of influence on grandchildren;
- relations of generations - unfortunately, sometimes relations with parents do not add up, because they are self-alienating or are expelled from the lives of their children and, accordingly, their children;
- personal interests of grandmothers. So, for example, in our country it is usual that grandmothers always took the most active part in the education of the younger generation - they helped financially, took away for a weekend and holidays and so on. And, for example, in Europe it is not accepted, and some of the women have recently transferred this trend to the conditions of our culture. These grandmothers do not consider it necessary to sacrifice their personal lives and careers in favor of their grandchildren.
Each of these factors has a lot of nuances and features in the application to each individual family. If the grandmother does not take part in the education of grandchildren, everything is simple here. This is a private matter for everyone and children have no right to insist, let alone condemn. Let's talk in more detail about those situations when the participation of grandmothers is the most direct and active.
Pros and cons of "grandmother" education
As in any situation, in the education of children grandmothers have their pros and cons. Let's begin with the list of undoubtedly positive sides :
- the child is always looked after, the grandmother takes care to take him out of the garden, school, sit for lessons, feed and so on. In this case, parents can safely work and not worry. In addition, there is no need to hire a nanny and pay her money, so irrelevant in the family budget. But these are all utilitarian moments;
- according to some psychologists, grandmothers do not have an appraisal perception, unlike parents who constantly compare their children with others and place high demands on them;
- grandmothers can put themselves in the place of a child and "speak" with him in one language, because they are able to accept it as they are without distracting themselves from their own problems and ambitions;
- children raised by grandmothers differ from peers with higher self-esteem, which certainly helps them in life;
- in the intellectual development of "Grandma's" grandchildren are often ahead of their peers.
But not everything is so uniquely smooth, there are also negative moments :
- according to some studies, children raised by grandmothers are selfish and sometimes uncontrollable;
- grandmothers - representatives of a completely different generation, so if they undertake the education of grown-up grandchildren, the probability of incomprehension and even conflicts is great;
- The greatest danger that lies in wait for a family where grandchildren are raised by grandmothers are conflicting views on upbringing. If the child is constantly pulled back, put forward incompatible with each other requirements, there is a high probability that the child will grow up closed and neurotic.
Of course, in the question of the participation of grandmothers in the upbringing of the child, there are many other moments that, mainly, depend on the family and the personal characteristics of people. Therefore, all decisions regarding the measure and the degree of this participation must be addressed individually.