Children and divorce of parents

Recent studies show that the number of single-parent families has increased several-fold in recent years. Children can not remain indifferent to the rift between the two people closest to them. They tend to experience the parental separation very hard and keep the hope that the father and mother will be together again. And yet, often the divorce of parents allows children to breathe a sigh of relief. Often such a reaction is the result of prolonged scandals in the family. Children are endowed with sensitivity from nature, so they are always able to notice that parents are unhappy together.

In any case, parents must try to reduce the negative impact of divorce on children, namely:

  1. Be delicate. Whatever the reasons for the divorce, you need to think about how to prepare a child for divorce in advance. It is necessary to gradually and calmly explain to him that for some reason, mom and dad decided to live separately, but this will not affect in any way their love for him. Such a position will help to mitigate the negative consequences of divorce for children.
  2. Respect each other. When a divorce is not avoided conflicts and clarify the relationship. But from this you need to try to save the child. Do not try to humiliate one another in his eyes. The psychology of the child in the process of divorce is such that an imposed negative from the outside to the other parent can create complex contradictions in the child's soul.

The opinion of the child about what happens when you divorce

The perception of divorce depends on the age of the child.

In children 1,5-3 years, the gap between mother and father can cause fear of loneliness, sudden changes in mood and sometimes even a development gap. How to explain to such a small child the divorce of parents? Because kids can not easily understand the motives driving adults. Often they even blame themselves for what is happening.

Children from 3-6 years old are usually very worried that they can not influence the situation. They are worried and are unsure of their own strengths.

Schoolchildren of 6-12 years old often hope that they are able to "reconcile" their parents. These children have their own view of the situation, so they can blame one of the parents for what is happening. The departure of the father or mother for them is a stress that can provoke various physical ailments.

How to help a child with a divorce?

Even if you know how to correctly tell a child about divorce, he will still have depression, which will last for 2 years or longer. Symptoms differ depending on the age and nature of the child: terrible dreams, apathy, tears, moods, inclination to quarrels, aggressiveness. Therefore, both parents should help the child in overcoming stress, be patient and consistent. Some children with divorce may need psychological help from professionals.