Just yesterday you were the most beautiful couple, they could not live each other's days without each other and solved all their affairs together. But life made its own corrections, and like a bolt from the blue, a verdict sounded: "We are getting divorced!". But is this a verdict, or the message of salvation? Is this dramatic episode so terrible, as we imagine it? Here's how to survive after the divorce, we'll talk now.
How to calm down after a divorce?
Such a thing as a divorce is easily perceived by no one. After all, this is not only a disappointment in a once close person, but also a void that is formed on the site of habitual experiences. Leaving from our destiny and the life of at least some significant person is always a tragedy. But is it as terrible as it looks in our view? Psychologists say - after separation we suffer not for the person himself, but for the place that he occupied in our life. But, unfortunately, such statements do not help answer the question: "How to recover from the divorce?". The situation is aggravated by the fact that our society perceives a divorced woman as an object of pity and sympathy, instead of giving the chance to re-believe in oneself and recover from the psychological drama. And if such an opportunity is not given by others, it must be created by ourselves.
Usually a woman's life after a divorce is a series of depressions, going headlong into work, or even worse, active participation in the lives of children. In other words, it is any action that helps to get distracted from heavy thoughts or forget yourself. How to start a normal life after a divorce and stop thinking about the past? To begin with, it is important to take several important steps:
- calm down. Imagine that divorce is an inevitable and important surgery to remove the tumor. First it's scary and painful. Then anesthesia is introduced, all bad things are removed, and then the pain recedes, and you continue to live as if nothing had happened, and do not even pay attention to the fact that somewhere inside you there have been changes;
- a new life after a divorce should not be filled with a reminder of the past. Remove from your field of vision all the items that even indirectly remind you of an ex-wife. Joint photos, his personal belongings and even trinkets, once given to them for some reason. Trifles can be collected in a box and discarded, and things larger can be exchanged or given to those in need. Do not be afraid to completely cleanse your apartment and life from the things of the past;
- The time that was occupied by your spouse, you must fill out with some deeds. Learn to see life in bright colors of freedom. You now have the opportunity to go shopping, to the movies, to the theaters, to meet with friends or to engage in some kind of hobby. It will be useful to draw your life before the divorce and after. So you can understand how much free time you have;
- remember that any events in our life do not bear as such an emotional coloring. We made a tragic life after the divorce from her husband, because this event broke the habitual course of life and knocked us out of the rut of the year-old rhythm. It is best to analyze what has changed after your parting and how you have benefited from this event.
How to start life after a divorce?
An important role in how to start life after a divorce is played by the very fact who initiated the dissolution of the marriage.
If the husband left you, try the following psychological technique:
- Imagine the image of your ex-spouse. Remember how much pain and trouble he caused you. How does he feel about you? How many forces do you feel in yourself, remembering his image?
- Imagine that all the problems that he brought to you in life were made at your request. Those. you yourself asked him in such a way to teach you something.
- In an inner voice, refer to the image of her husband and ask what you learned in the situations that he created for you. You will certainly hear the answer.
- Mentally thank the husband for what he did, he tried to become a good teacher.
- Analyze, what are you feeling now?
Another technique will help you in a situation if you initiated the termination of marriage, but do not know how to live further after the divorce. It is also performed as the previous one, but exactly the opposite:
- Imagine your ex-spouse and all the pain that you caused him to break off the relationship.
- For a few seconds, imagine that in this way he asked you to teach him something.
- Ask the question what you taught him in your relationship with him, and what you learned yourself.
- Thank the former spouse for being the best student.
- Analyze your feelings about your ex-husband.
Almost every second woman thinks about how to live after a divorce. The main rule in this situation is not to give up and try to find pros in what happened. Life does not end there. It simply passes to a fundamentally new stage. And it depends on you whether he will be happy. Look at life positively, it does not end. And somewhere beyond the horizon, she has prepared for you many more positive surprises.