Most parents are familiar with such a problem as children's fears, and many are looking for an answer to the question of how to deal with them? How to behave with a child to really help, not aggravate the situation?
What causes childish fears?
The solution to any problem is impossible without understanding its causes. So first we will find out what are the causes of childhood fears. So, fears can be congenital, situationally conditioned or inspired. Congenital fears, as the name suggests, is present in the child at birth and can accompany a person all his life. Here we note that fear itself is not a disease, not a pathological condition, but a protective mechanism given to us by nature. A small child is afraid to stay alone, without a mother, because the mother gives him food and comfort when sending natural needs, i.e. provides everything necessary for life. Situationally caused fears are fears manifested as a result of negative experience experienced. A simple example: a child who once was bitten by a dog will be afraid of dogs and bypass them by side. Finally, the inspired fears - we give them to our children themselves. For example, if a child is too pedantic in matters of hygiene and cleanliness of his parents, the child perceives the fear of contamination and contamination, often washing his hands, changing clothes, etc. Also, "adult" conversations with the child about death, illnesses hurt the child's subtle psyche.
How to deal with children's fears?
As we have already understood, fear itself is a self-preservation mechanism necessary for survival. You ask: then maybe, and do not fight it? It is not necessary to fight, but only if your child's fear manifests itself adequately to the situation, i.e. is a response to an objective threat and does not become an obsession. If you are one of those happy parents who are not tormented by the question "how to overcome children's fears", then you can only advise in a timely manner to prevent childhood fears. Namely: to avoid stressful situations for the baby, to develop his communication skills, to give him love, affection and understanding.
If children's fears become constant companions of your child, they cause frequent tears, nervousness, then you need to take action. And then the parents are able to do a lot. First of all, your attention to the child, to his experiences, warm emotional communication with him will help here. The three main ways to combat childish fears are communication, creativity and play.
Hence, three main methods for eliminating strong childish fears follow. The first and most important thing that you can do is talk with the child about his fear. Sit with the child in a calm environment and ask him about what's bothering him, what he's afraid of, why. At any age, the child will positively perceive your desire to share the problem with him, and, sharing his experiences, will feel more confident. Just do not ridicule children's fears - the child can be offended, you will lose confidence in you and in the future will not share with you new emerging problems.
Creativity can also be a good helper in your struggle against childish fears. After talking with the child about his fear, ask him to draw. In the process of drawing, the child begins to feel his power over the object of fear, and therefore, by fear itself. The author of this article well remembers an episode from his own childhood: insanely afraid of a snowman, at the suggestion of his mother painted it on a sheet of paper - it turned out a pretty shaggy creature, not at all terrible (is it necessary to say that the fear after this creative act immediately disappeared).
In addition, you can eliminate unwanted fears of the child with the help of the game. For example, a famous spot game helps children get rid of the fear of touching strangers ("stain" - a sharp touch, a light blow, a slap that does not have aggressive coloring).
If you can not overcome childish fears yourself, the above ways, you need, without delay, to turn to a specialist. Timely work of a psychologist with childish fears will help to eliminate the problem at the very beginning of its development, preventing the transformation of childish fear into an adult phobia.
Night fears of children
We will dwell on this phenomenon, like children's nightly fears - perhaps one of the most heavily tolerated forms of childish fears. They violate the sleep and wakefulness of the whole family, cause the nervousness of the parents, which in turn is transmitted again to the child. A vicious circle is formed, from which it is difficult to get out. At the time of night fear, a child (most often at the age of 2-5 years) in the first three hours of a night's sleep suddenly awakens with loud crying and screaming. When trying to take in his arms and calm down, he pulls himself out, arching himself with an arch.
The main thing - remember that parental love is able to cure any childhood fears. Be a friend to your child and be with him, because with a friend - nothing scary!