Relationship in the family is an eternal theme. No matter how many films were shot, books and articles were written, textbooks were published, there was hardly a family that could avoid problems. In this article we will look at the topic of raising children, or rather, talk about how the cry of parents affects children, whether you can shout at the child, how to learn to control yourself, and what to do if the husband screams at the child. And also try to find effective methods how to stop screaming at the child, but do not turn the family relationship into a child's cult, and your child into a selfish tyrant.
The most common excuse for parental cries is the notorious: "He (she) does not understand in another way!". But whatever the parents justified, in the depths of the soul there is still a worm of doubt in their own solvency as a parent and educator, and the subconscious feeling of guilt makes you make concessions, indulge the innocent weaknesses and requests of the baby, promise yourself that never again do not scold the crumb ... But over time everything repeats again. Mutual relations in the family are aggravated, which is the reason for new quarrels. It would seem, a vicious circle. Is there any way out of it?
Why can not you scream at the child?
- children, especially in the first years of life, are emotionally inextricably linked to their parents. Discontent, irritation and especially screaming are the direct path to unstable psyche and various psychological complexes "from childhood" for your children;
- the behavior of the mother and father is an example for imitation. Remember that your children will build their family, relying on the model they see as a child. And, if you still do not know how to control your own emotions, do not know how to curb anger and irritation, break on your loved ones, it's time to sort out yourself and learn to control yourself. If not for yourself, then for the future of your own child;
- shouting distances you from the children. Perhaps you will achieve perfect obedience, but it will be built on fear, not on trust or authority. Agree, fear is not an alternative to respect and love;
- children copy their parents' behavior in everything, not distinguishing good deeds from bad ones. So be more careful, breaking on your relatives - one day it will return a hundredfold;
- cry destroys the child's confidence in himself. So, it significantly reduces the chances of the baby for a successful and happy life.
When you can scream?
Screaming can do good in extreme situations. There are times when fear can paralyze a person - a fire, an approaching car, an attack. But the scream will act in these situations only when you do not turn it into a daily routine. And, of course, it is necessary to explain to children the algorithm of actions in various unforeseen and dangerous situations.
How to deal with irritability and a desire to yell at the child?
- To minimize family quarrels, study the psychology and theory of education. Be interested in your children, find common with them entertainment: skating, fishing, playing sports, drawing - anything.
- Teach your child to neutralize negative emotions, not breaking down on loved ones. To do this, you can tear apart the newspaper, beat your fist into the pillow, or scream at it with all your might. Ways to mass, try a few and decide which one suits you best.
- Learn to relax. It's hard to fight the urge to shout at close ones if you are in a constant state of stress, overwork, etc. Find yourself fun to liking and do not be afraid
sometimes to have a rest without a husband (wife) and children. - Do not forget that the goal of education is not to punish, but to teach, not to alter and make you act "right", but to show the right path. More often try to look at yourself and the situation as a whole from the outside. Try to avoid negative judgments, judgments about the child's personality (for example, instead of "you are bad" you can say "you did bad" - so you evaluate behavior that can be corrected, not the child itself). Remember that a child is a person who deserves respect, just like you.