In Russia, the opinion of parents in concluding the marriage bonds of children has always been decisive. If parents found out that their son wants to marry a girl, they tried to dissuade him if there was a more favorable candidate. True, formally, the parents could not insist, only persuade, but without the good of the parents the church marriage was considered illegal.
Matchmaking - customs
Matchmaking is the first step towards the adult life of the bride and groom. According to the customs of matchmaking, it was assumed that the rituals, today these two rites have merged.
The customs of the matchmaking on the part of the groom boiled down to the presence of matchmakers: the father of the groom, godfather and elder brother. Sometimes, it was a matchmaker - an extraneous woman, who was famous for her ability to negotiate.
From the bride's side the matchmaker could be a young mother, her godmother or sister.
If you call things by their proper names, matchmaking is a bargain between two families. The groom's family is trying to get a more "profitable", provided bride with a dowry, and the bride's family wants to get as much as possible a substantial sum for the ransom of the bride.
Nuances of matchmaking
Traditions and customs of matchmaking dictated even the time itself. It was necessary to make a wedding on the evening of Thursday, Tuesday and Saturday. For the first time, the matchmaker was usually denied the groom, as giving out her daughter too quickly was considered a bad form.
At the same time, there was a saying: "A thin groom will show a good road" - refusing the first one to come, the parents still hoped for a more advantageous option.
The first matchmaking was unofficial. Deny the parents of the bride could in order to better know the groom's family. For the second time (already official), a festive table was laid, the bride was preparing gifts, both families were gathering.
Here the auction started: if the parents of the bride agreed to give their daughter, the families started to agree not only on the dates, but also on the share of investments in the celebration, and the groom had to make a preliminary "contribution".