The struggle of the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law for the attention and love of her husband and son in one person is an age-old theme of legends, anecdotes and, unfortunately, reality. Most often the mother-in-law interferes in the life of her son and daughter-in-law, if the whole family lives in the same house or apartment. As they say, the best mother-in-law and mother-in-law are those who live at a distance, and we rarely meet with them. There is a deal of truth in it.
Whatever the ideal mother-in-law, who loves both her son and daughter-in-law is almost the same, if you share one territory with her, she simply can not help interfering. In most cases, the mother-in-law climbs in the upbringing of the child, because in her opinion, she has an incomparably greater experience in the upbringing of children than you and her husband. Some mother-in-law do it only for the best of reasons, and you really can count on their help and support. But what if my mother-in-law got it?
Mother-in-law climbs into our life
What is the rivalry and struggle between daughter-in-law and mother-in-law? Correctly, first of all, in jealousy. It is understandable that the mother is jealous of her son, especially if he is the only child in the family. And it is jealousy - the reason that the mother-in-law is going into relationships and all that is possible, gives numerous "good" advice, and the daughter-in-law is also jealous and tries to do everything in her own way.
Sometimes it comes to the fact that his mother-in-law does not allow young couple to live. In this case, her shortcomings are often visible only to the daughter-in-law, but her son - not particularly. He is used to his mother and does not realize that she interferes with her beloved girlfriend. Moreover, he was accustomed to the constant presence of his mother, especially if before the wedding he lived with his parents, and not an independent life. Parents do not interfere with him and it's hard for him to understand the fact that his mother-in-law interferes with living a full and free life for his girlfriend or his wife.
How to rebuff my mother-in-law?
Imagine that you are a poor daughter-in-law, but your mother-in-law is preventing you from living. Naturally, you want to know how to rebuff your mother-in-law, stop her influence on your own son and interfere with your relationship. From this situation, there is one simple way out. Neutralize your mother-in-law! Of course, not in the literal sense of the word. Neutralize the fight against it. Eliminate the reason for her interventions, do not let her dictate to you what and how to do. Simply agree with your mother in all. Show that you do not interfere with her attempts to improve your life and her son's life, show that you are not going to fight and prove your rightness.
Naturally, the best option is to live in separate apartments or houses, but if you can not afford it, here are some simple tips.
- Give your mother-in-law to understand that you are not a rival, but her ally and assistant.
- Never discuss or condemn your mother-in-law with your husband, do not say that she is going into our life, on the contrary, even if she is not right, and her husband is perfectly aware of this, try to protect and justify her.
- Take advice of mothers and try,
if possible, follow them, because the older woman gives you her invaluable experience. - Try not to collide in the kitchen, clean, wash and iron your things yourself. If your mother-in-law wants to help - do not refuse, just tolerate her possible remarks and teachings.
- If there is a conflict or a quarrel, try to apologize, even if you are right, because you are younger, and maybe even wiser.
By following these rules, and also realizing that the mother-in-law is the same woman, with her strengths and weaknesses, advantages and disadvantages, you will soon learn to understand and respect her. And your joint life with her husband will not be attacked by her mother-in-law, in her person you will find a reliable friend and adviser.