Some mothers are very tired, when their children do not pull out on the street, but prefer to sit at home with her and play quietly with their toys or watch TV. But when they get to the playground with a large number of children, they try to avoid contact with them and just cuddle up to their mother, in search of protection from this children's crowd. Such alienation and reluctance to communicate with other people is called non-contactness and is a sign of problems in the upbringing or psychological development of the child.
To solve the problem, you first need to find out the reason, since there may be several:
- feature of character;
- unhealthy psychological situation in the family (alcoholism of parents, family disintegration, contradictions in education between family members);
- feeling of inferiority in the presence of physical or speech defects;
- neuropathy - congenital childish nervousness;
- lack of love and attention, increased demands from parents;
- lack of experience of communication;
- neuropsychic diseases such as epilepsy, schizophrenia, early childhood autism ;
- formation of the child's dependence on the parents, intimidation by strangers.
Therefore, if you notice that your child is avoiding other people, you should go to a survey for specialists: a speech therapist, a psychologist or a psychoneurologist. In the case that everything is in order with the psychological development of the child, parents, having found out the reason of non-contactness, can help him learn to establish contact and be friends.
How to help a non-contact child?
- expand your own and the children's social circle;
- visit new places (it is better to start with few people);
- more often praise the child for success, especially with someone;
- create success situations: first give a fairly easy task and after its successful completion, give like, but more difficult, be sure to support it at the beginning;
- push the child to get acquainted, first to introduce him to someone, it is better to go to nature with a family where there are children of the same age as yours;
- increase the number of friends of the child gradually: at first there will be enough and 2-3;
- teach your child to play: explain to him the rules of the first simple group games, play with him yourself, so that the child becomes confident in themselves feeling in them;
- organize a game on the courtroom (always with rules well known to your child) with all the children, for the first time your participation in the game is compulsory, the next day you already become just an observer and control the game from the side;
- develop those activities in which your kid is successful (drawing, riding a bicycle, running, playing ball);
- find adherents of his hobbies, for example: sign up for a circle;
- at the initial stage do not leave the child alone with peers: protect and help him very carefully, unobtrusively;
- invite children to visit, organize for them entertainment, games and treats, when the child will feel with them uninhibited, you can start walking yourself on a visit;
- regulate the relationship in the family, this can be done by contacting the family psychologist;
- organize communication with children of different ages.
Most importantly, do it all gradually, carefully watching the emotional state of your child, and at the first manifestations of discomfort, make a stop.
The earlier you begin to solve the problem of non-contact, the easier it will be for you and your child. But an indispensable condition for successful resolution is the creation in the family of an atmosphere of love, respect, understanding and acceptance of children as they are.