Sooner or later every parent has time to solve a difficult question: leave the crumb of the house itself or wait? Fears of the parents are quite understandable, because the child can naskodit and with them, and alone, even more so. But the danger here lies also in another aspect of the question: how will the child feel about the absence of the parents, and what can it turn out for him. Let's look at the most frequent parental fears about this and a few tips from specialists.
Independence or loneliness?
Some experts categorically oppose the mood of parents to educate individuals and leave children from six to seven years at home. Others argue that it was during this period that a child can already be without adults for some time and feel normal at the same time.
Agree that parents are more concerned about the fact that the crumb can do themselves physical harm, and almost never think about the harm of the moral and spiritual. But in fact it is this moment that is the answer to the question that interests us. Everything depends on the child's psyche. For example, choleric children even provoke adults to leave them at home, although they do not think much of the consequences. More sensual melancholics will simply cling to you, and phlegmatic people will generally accept this as a given.
Unfortunately, independent children who do not give up their mother without tears and stay at home for a long time often have an acute deficit of attention and are afraid of hysterics so as not to provoke another adult's withdrawal. More temperamental people on the contrary arrange a real scene, just to keep mom and dad at home. Both variants of behavior is a signal that your child is not alone in fear of being alone, but even harmful. The problem is that all these tears and moods will later turn into various kinds of phobias and psychological problems for crumbs.
Why is the toddler afraid of one at home?
Parents should understand that the age when the child is ready to stay at home alone is not fixed in the textbooks on upbringing. For every child this is a different time and almost always the first thing to overcome is fear.
Parents should follow the reaction of their child and try to identify fears and their causes. At each age they have their own:
- at the age of three, the children faithfully believe in horror stories and, alone for themselves, these horror stories become a very real threat, and the child realizes that without the help of an adult he can not cope with them;
- at the age of six or seven years, the very period when children's fear of death reaches its apogee comes, so if possible, it is better to discuss this topic with the child and take it with you everywhere;
- in the more mature age the child begins to think about the death of the parents and the possibility that something will happen to them.
If there are no other options?
Of course, there are completely objective situations, when there is no other way out and you have to leave the baby at home. In this case, you must prepare the child and ensure his safety.
- Show him how to dial your number or number of relatives on the phone. If the kid does not know the numbers yet, show the shortcut button, for older children, write down all the phones where you need to call in an emergency.
- Take care of safety : all drugs, electrical appliances and other hazardous items
be sure to remove as far as possible. Tell me beforehand why you can not take this or that object, and outline the circle of what is allowed. - Warn the neighbors that you plan to leave the baby for a while and ask him to listen to the sounds in the apartment. And ideally ask to sit with him.
So, what are we coming to? Each parent decides at what age his child is ready to stay for a while at home, depending on his character and style of upbringing, individual qualities. The only and main advice - delay this time as far as possible.