Being a parent is a great test. The child's pranks, his disobedience, the complaints of teachers and others ... - "Just tell me why they do not complain about neighbor Vaska, but on my Constantine ..."
How many unpleasant minutes it is necessary to go through, when it is necessary to answer not only for their own, but also for other people's actions. The only way out is to educate. But how? In the traditions of old England, where for the punishment of a disobedient disciple, teachers used special rattan canes, with which they struck the hands and buttocks of the guilty? Using the "traditional" way to punish a child with a belt? Or by exerting psychological pressure?
Why not punish children with a belt?
Absolutely all of the children's psychologists answer the question "is it possible to beat children with a strap?" Is negative. Spanking disobedient children not only does not bring the desired result (in other words, it does not teach anything), but also has an extremely negative impact on the formation of the character of the child and his sense of self-confidence. Moreover, no matter how the parent abuses himself with the punitive instrument in his hand, any punishment "in the hearts" is evidence of not strength, but, on the contrary, of his weakness. The child's intuitive feeling will always tell him about it.
If not a belt, then how?
Education is effective not in the case when an indignant parent pours a "tub of scum" on the head of his child or, without restraining his own aggression, "takes care of the strap", but only when he is in a calm voice, in which there is no shade of resentment, explains how to do well, but how to do it is not worth it.
As an "effective argument", you should never "press on pity" and tell that you are ashamed of his actions (this will not help the child cope with the situation, but can only aggravate his problems and undermine your credibility). Much more effective may be a cold-blooded "if ..., then ...". "If you still will not clean up your room once a week, I can not give you money to buy a new game, the one you told me about yesterday," - so, quietly and absolutely self-confidently, can say father to his son and for the first time "to bring the matter to the end" - to keep his word. Just keep in mind that at first such conditions should not be more than one in three days, and to implement the promised is necessary with a 100% probability.
Much more effective than corporal punishment and psychological pressure, there is a conversation with the child as an adult. Try it!