There is nothing more difficult than the loss of a loved one. It does not matter, a relative or just a good friend - but it's always a hard blow, from which it's hard to recover. It is easier for women in this respect - the society allows them to sob, thus, experiencing the situation and releasing it, but men have harder: they have the right except for a tart tear, which does not help express the whole range of feelings raging inside.
How to cope with the loss of a loved one?
Mourning and dates that mark the death of loved ones are not accidental, and exactly correspond to periods of living and awareness of grief. After the conscious passage of all stages, the person becomes lighter. Do not push yourself, hide the grief, it can cause a stalling in some period and aggravate the consequences for the psyche. For each period there are recommendations how to survive the death of a loved one.
- Shock (from the first to the ninth day). During this period a person can not realize the situation and accept the loss. This is a protective mechanism of inhibition of the psyche, which allows you to keep in the most difficult hour. People react differently to this: some fall into a stupor, others fussily organize a funeral. Some experience depersonalization, ceasing to understand who he is and where - but this is not a mental disorder, but a reaction to stress. In this case, the person needs to cry.
- Denial (from nine to forty days). During this period, according to Christian rites, wake ceremonies are held, releasing the soul of a person. Sorrowful though aware of the loss, but not ready to believe in it, they are imagining a man alive, or comes in a dream. During this period it is useful to cry, it is impossible to block the grief.
- Adoption and residence loss (up to six months). At this time, the pain is intensified, then recedes, lost in daily worries. If it was too difficult to lose a loved one, after 3 months a person begins to feel that he will never be able to return to normal life. During this period, feelings of guilt or even aggression towards the deceased may arise ("to whom did you leave me?"). This is normal if it does not last long. It is quite normal and an attempt to find the guilty.
- Relief (up to a year). By this time, the death of a loved one already has time to take and get used to a new life. If
the grief has passed correctly, then the deceased is remembered not dead, but alive, in his affairs and bright moments. - Repetition of the passed stages (the second year). Man again experiences all the same stages, but more easily. The most difficult thing is to survive a sudden, young death. If a person does not block his grief, by the end of the second year it completely passes and the person remains in the bright memory.
A person already understands his loss, but his body and subconscious do not accept it. That's why he can see in the crowd of the deceased, hear the steps. Do not get scared! It's good when the deceased dreams, at least sometimes. If you really want to see in a dream, mentally talk to him, ask him to come in a dream. If during this period has never dreamed, it means that the process of mourning has been blocked and the help of a psychologist is required. All talk about the deceased should be supported. During this period it is good when the grieving person cries (but not round the clock).
The death of a loved one as a whole is experienced by people in the same way, just one is stuck in stages, while others are moving forward. A person experiencing such a loss is always alone with himself: people do not know how to help, and simply avoid communication, trying not to harm an awkward word. Very few people are ready to support a person at such a minute, which usually makes it even harder.