Lie, betrayal, "knife in the back" from someone who was close and irreplaceable. The feeling of resentment occurs instantly, and can remain for life. Unpleasant feelings in the soul, hatred, bitter disappointment and other negative thoughts can seriously damage your health. But on the other hand, how to find the strength to forget old grievances and start living anew? We will talk about this.
How to learn to forgive offenses?
Before we understand how to get rid of feelings of resentment, it is important to understand what this feeling is and why it arises. According to psychology, this concept is characterized as a feeling that a person develops in a situation when injustice, deception, insult, ingratitude are committed against him, etc. This is due to the discrepancy of expectations regarding the behavior of the person who inflicted the offense.
We all live by certain patterns and concepts of what is good and what is bad. This thinking has been taught to us since childhood and is brought up along with a sense of dignity. If a person has this feeling too high, then any acts that are not appropriate to his person will be offensive to him. If, from the childhood, a person was taught to be above criticism and insults, in many cases he simply will not pay attention to the fact that his expectations did not coincide with reality.
So how do you respond to offense? There are situations when it is difficult to pay attention to the moral damage done. But as they say, the weak remembers the offenses, and the strong remembers the offenders. The first reaction to humiliation is the desire to take revenge and pain in response. But in most cases it will be just a waste of time. Perhaps, it is only for you that a person's act is offensive, and the one who did it did not want you to be evil. How, for example, to forgive an insult to a husband who loves you, but by virtue of his character commits an insulting act, following only his own interests? To do this prevents fear. The fear that another offensive action will be followed by another and you will again be betrayed or insulted. But you can not foresee this in advance. Therefore, it is worth joining the strong personalities who do not take revenge on their offenders and do not descend to their level. Such people know how to deal with the insult, survive it for a short time, and then either forgive and ask that more of this does not happen again, or try not to face in their life any longer with the one who did it.
If autosuggestion of this kind is possible with difficulty, it's worth remembering that all the negative that you save in your mind takes away the positive energy your loved ones need. And since it is impossible to survive the offense instantly anyway, try not only to mentally distract yourself from the negative, but also to do a number of special techniques.
How easy it is to forget an insult with exercises
Since it is desirable to forgive a person offense without real revenge, you can do it in your imagination. Nobody forbids mentally to direct the negative against the offender. To abuse it certainly is not necessary, but a couple of repetitions of the following exercise can greatly alleviate the state of mind and will not cause special harm:
- Take a comfortable pose, close your eyes and relax. Imagine this or those who hurt you. How do you want them to take revenge? What should they survive or do in order for you to forgive them? Imagine a picture of your vengeance in all colors and details. And keep this picture in your head for as long as you need to see your abusers suffer and receive what they deserve. Then forgive them and feel a sense of satisfaction from the past negative.
- The second way how to release an offense is to work with a partner.
Near to you there should be a person whom you completely trust. Its role is to replace someone who has offended you. Close your eyes and imagine that instead of a partner you have an abuser in front of you. Also, with your eyes closed, give a positive attitude: "I want to forgive you for ...". You should talk until you feel a sense of relief, and you will not say anything that has been boiling in the soul towards the abuser.
Everyone must decide for himself whether to forgive an insult. But remember - you can boil all your life with anger and indignation, poisoning your life with a negative. And you can let the offender with the world, get rid of the load of unpleasant thoughts and give joy to yourself and your loved ones.