Every child should grow in complete harmony and love, because in his upbringing, both mother and father should equally participate. Mom, with whom the baby draws together long before his birth, should educate him in affection and tenderness, and the father in rigor and justice. However, in many families it happens that the child begins to fear his father. Why this happens and how to fix this situation - let's talk in this article.
Why is the child afraid of the father and what can it lead to?
Initially, the kid perceives his father only as a mother's assistant and assistant, so the father in order to get closer to the crumb, will have to make a lot of effort. Sometimes, young and inexperienced fathers are afraid to take the baby in their arms, they are afraid of hurting the child. Of course, these fears are not unfounded, and the pope with his insecure actions can give the child unpleasant feelings. But it will be much worse if the baby does not know Dad's smell, the touch of his strong hands, his breathing and his heartbeat. The child simply will not be able to recognize in the father of a friend and person close to him.
Also the kid can be afraid of the father because of its loud voice, a prickly beard or a mustache, if the daddy will strongly smell as cologne, alcohol, tobacco. Having seen his father in a state of intoxication, a child can forever turn away from the parent, especially if it repeats quite often.
Very often there are families in which children are simply intimidated by their father. For example, my mother often uses such phrases: "Here's Dad will come, and I'll tell him everything!" Or "Now I'll call Dad, and he'll deal with you quickly!", Etc. In addition, there are cases when the dad also behaves with respect to the child too harshly and even despotically.
In the opinion of many psychologists, the excess severity of the parent will lead to nothing. The child should be afraid not of the father, as an evil and terrible beast, but of justice in relation to his actions. Intimidation and too strict treatment of a child can lead to the development of a huge number of complexes, fears, the appearance of isolation, as well as suppression of will power and the ability to defend one's own opinion.
What to do?
First of all, it is worth remembering that building trust relationships requires more time and patience. All people, except the mother, initially perceived by the baby as unfamiliar and potentially dangerous objects. Therefore, in order not to scare the child even more, be consistent in your actions.
If you want the child to stop being afraid of his father, remember that your psychological state and your inner assessment are unconsciously oriented by the baby. Therefore, you must first demonstrate the desired behavior, so that the kid realizes that this is a close and reliable person for him, who can be trusted as well as his mother.
Teach your father to be gentle with the baby, to touch right
Of course, the father is the breadwinner and the support of the family, and in the modern world, to fully provide for his relatives, the popes have to work very hard and stay at home for a little. But it's worth remembering how important it is to communicate with your child, and best of all, separately from your mother, alone. Be sure, such communication will bring a lot of positive emotions to both the daddy and the baby.