Ignoring a person and / or situation is one of the most common ways of psychological defense or punishment. With apparent simplicity, not much is as effective as this simple trick. The danger is that the technique of ignoring rarely leads to a final solution of certain problems, because, in fact, it is a way to escape from any action. We will talk more about the psychology of ignoring today.
Ignoring as protection
By ignoring, as a technique of defensive reaction to the emergence of a particular problem, a person creates an alternative reality, in which there is no information block. The so-called ignoring matrix helps to find it.
Ignore Matrix
The ignore matrix is a special model that considers ignoring in terms of type and level. These two concepts are similar and to some extent are interchangeable.
1. Types of ignoring:
- ignoring the fact of what is happening. In this case, we refuse to see this or that situation creating a certain problem;
- ignoring the fact of the problem. This type of ignoring implies acceptance of what is happening, but refusing to recognize that reality represents a problem;
- ignoring opportunities. You see the situation, recognize the problem, but ignore the existence of the possibilities for its solution.
2. Ignoring level:
- ignoring the availability of opportunities;
- ignoring the significance of opportunities, simply speaking - the doubt in their (potential) effectiveness;
- ignoring the option of changing opportunities;
- ignoring personal abilities, associated with insecurity in their abilities and fear of inability to take advantage of opportunities.
The ignore matrix provides all combinations of types and levels of ignoring, forming a diagram of three columns (types) and four rows (levels). The method of using the ignore matrix allows you to find that part of the information that is ignored, preventing the solution of a certain problem. To do this, you must start checking each cell, starting from the upper left corner of the matrix, moving diagonally down.
It is worth mentioning about such a phenomenon as rational ignoring, when our apathetic behavior is due to the fact that we do not see any personal benefit, from participating in a certain action. The most common example is the reluctance to go to elections, participate in demonstrations, etc. In this case, the psychology of ignoring is also seen as protection, in this case, passivity protects us the energy costs.
Ignoring as a method of punishment
Very often we use the method of ignoring, trying to somehow influence others. The psychology of ignoring a person is that we consciously do not pay attention to the one whom we want to punish, to offend.
In addition, the reason for ignoring, paradoxically, may be an attempt to attract attention. So, for example, the reason for ignoring a man's woman may be her desire to show the man his offense. The problem is that such a method, as a rule, meets aggression and a reciprocal misunderstanding. Men's
At the same time, girls often use disregard when they want to attract the attention of a man they like. In this case, they count on the notorious hunting instinct.
Anyway, ignoring is a passive action, resorting to which, a person consciously renounces his own power and responsibility. Remember, most often this method does not meet expectations.