Love is a wonderful feeling, but there are situations when it is transformed and no longer brings pleasure. In this case, it is said that there is a love affair that can lead to disastrous consequences, so it is necessary to fight it.
What is love addiction?
When a person does not represent his life without an object of adoration, this condition is called love addiction. Experiencing great feelings, he is ready for any sacrifice for the sake of his half. The paradox is that in most cases people do not recognize the existence of a problem and perceive any councils as bayonets. Dependence on love causes a person suffering, and it can even upset over small things that are normal for normal people.
Love dependence in psychology
This problem is studied in detail by specialists, and they describe several forms of love dependence.
- The loss of one's own individuality and the desire to retain affection by replacing one's psychological territory with a partner. Love dependence is a person's desire to dedicate his entire life to another, so he renounces friends, goals, interests, and so on. This form is characterized by masochistic tendencies.
- Infringement on personal borders, psychological territories and individuality of the partner. Super-control is observed and, for example, excessive jealousy can be cited.
- Destruction of a person's psychological territory with the use of aggression. Such love dependence can manifest itself in sadistic tendencies. There is a destruction and complete suppression of the partner's personality.
Causes of love dependence
According to statistics, the dependence of a woman is more dependent, as they are more emotional and can completely dissolve in a partner. Dependence on love relationships can be provoked by such reasons:
- Low self-esteem . A person who considers himself unworthy, tries on the role of the victim, and he is ready to please his idol in everything.
- Psychological Inferiority . This occurs in a couple where people become dependent on each other, because they find advantageous moments for themselves in the partner. As a result, they unite like Siamese twins.
- Inexperience . Young people, who fall in love for the first time, succumb to a strong feeling, and in most cases it is false. Obeying love affair, they simply do not know that there is another kind of relationship.
- Difficult childhood . People who have not received sufficient attention from their parents, or have suffered mental trauma, are at risk of those who may become addicted.
- Fear of loneliness . There are people who are ready to obey and sacrifice their lives for the sake of another, just not to stay without a lover.
Love dependency - signs
In most cases, people in this relationship can not determine the problem, but others can identify the main symptoms without much effort.
- Psychological dependence on love makes you change, and a person begins to copy the interests and habits of his lover. In addition, he ceases to communicate with his friends and, as it were, is shielded from the events taking place around him.
- The dependent does not experience positive emotions from his love, as it should be, but starts complaining about life, blaming the partner for insufficient attention. Discontent is almost constant.
- A clear symptom is gradually developing depression, even when in life everything is well rolled up melancholy.
- Dependent by their actions and actions destroys relationships with family and friends, moving away from them.
- All conversations are reduced to one thing - the object of admiration, and all conversations have a positive color, that is, the beloved is exposed in the best light.
What is the difference between love and dependence?
Many often confuse these two concepts, so it is worthwhile to consider the main differences.
- When there is a normal love, lovers in separation feel normal, and when they depend, they suffer.
- Finding out how to distinguish love from addiction, it is worth noting that in the first case, partners have inner freedom, and in the second - it is absent.
- True love inspires, gives positive emotions and helps to become happier and stronger, and dependence acts destructively.
- When there are sincere feelings between people, then there is equality in the pair, because lovers give the opportunity to develop each other. When there is an addiction, one of the partners suppresses their desires.
What is the end of love addiction?
Relationships in which one suppress oneself can not lead to any good events, as they cause pain and suffering, and to both partners. Strong love dependence leads to the fact that the individual does not feel full without the second half, from losing his individuality and interest in life. The severance of the relationship can eventually lead to tragic consequences, so there are many reports that people have decided on suicide for the sake of love.
How to get rid of love addiction?
When a person realizes that his relationship is not normal, you need to put the point in time and free yourself from the shackles. There are several ways how to overcome love dependence, so you can try several of them at once. It is believed that the problem is serious, so without psychological help to get out of it is almost impossible.
Love dependence - advice of a psychologist
There are numerous psychological methods that help in such situations, for example, psychoanalysis, hypnotic separation and others. Specialists give advice on how to overcome an addiction to a man:
- A good medicine that is suitable for many people is a hobby. An activity that will distract, and give positive emotions, will make life more diverse and brighter.
- To cope with mental problems helps work. Success in the workplace, promotion on the career ladder, communication with different people, all this is a good medicine at parting.
- Getting rid of love addiction can be done with the help of sports. Physical stress raises vitality and self-esteem, and helps to improve your appearance. An excellent option is yoga, which positively affects the emotional state of a person. In order to squander the accumulated energy, it is recommended to dance.
- Psychologists advise not to close in themselves and lead an active life, communicating with other people. Support in this situation is very important.
Prayer for love affair
Clergymen give recommendations to people with different types of dependence, in order to quickly cope with the problem. It is important to confess and take communion, go to the services and regularly communicate with God, asking him for help. If you are interested in how to get out of love dependence through faith, then it is recommended that you read the prayer every morning and evening.
Plots from love affair
There is a powerful ritual that helps to cool feelings, and it is necessary to conduct it during the period of the waning moon, so that, together with the Earth's companion, the dependence also decreases. Women should use magic on women's days: Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. The practice of getting rid of love dependence involves the use of natural properties of water.
- Be in the room to isolate yourself from external noise, that is, doors and windows must be closed.
- Prepare cold water and it is better if it is a spring or well, but also the liquid from the tap is at an extreme case suitable.
- At the next stage of the technique of getting rid of love dependence, a plot is contemplated over a glass of water, which should be repeated three times. After that, drink half of the liquid, and wash the second part and sprinkle it around yourself.
Affirmations from love addiction
It is believed that a person can draw events into his life, so it's important to keep track of your words. If you are interested in how to get rid of love dependence, then you should use affirmations, that is, positive statements. Numerous repetitions act as a self-hypnosis or self-hypnosis. It is believed that the more often affirmations are repeated, the easier it will be to get rid of love dependence. It is important to pronounce them in a positive tone. An example of affirmation: "I stopped depending on (name). I control and manage my life, protecting my heart. "
Mantra for getting rid of love affair
There are special poems that can affect the consciousness of a person, and they also help spiritual perfection, and call them mantras. They are repeated, listened to and thought about. For those who are interested in how to overcome love dependence, it is recommended not only to recite mantras, but also to use spiritual practices. It is better to repeat the text presented 108 times every day on the waning moon. It is important to pronounce the mantra on exhalation.
Films about love addiction
There are many movies that use the theme of love obsession. One can single out the most popular films about love addiction:
- "Lolita" . The movie is based on a well-known novel and it tells about a man's insane love for a young girl.
- "Fear" . The story tells of a young girl who falls in love for the first time, unaware that her chosen one is a zealous and tough owner.
- "Fanatka" . This film tells about the life of a guy, in the classroom of which there is a new girl who falls in love with him and after a while she becomes obsessed with him.
Books about love addiction
The authors of romance novels often exploit the topic of love addiction in their works. Books of a similar theme are very popular.
- "Gone with the Wind" by M. Mitchell . A famous classic, which describes the love of Scarlet to Ashley. She understands too late that the habit of loving has long superseded the very feeling.
- "The Great Gatsby" by F. S. Fitzgerald . Love dependence on man is also read in this work. The main character became a rich and influential person, but fell in love with a girl who turned out to be a pacifier. As a result, an inexplicable love affair led him to death.
- "Letter from a stranger" by C. Stefan . This book describes the story of a woman in love who decided to write a letter to her adoring object, and the text took as many as 30 pages. She does not know if the feelings are mutual.