Non-reflexive listening

An unreflective listening is a special kind of perception of the words of the interlocutor, in which the listener is silent, extremely attentive and does not comment on the speech he hears. In extreme cases, it is possible to add a phrase that does not bear any assessment. The essence of non-reflective hearing is precisely not to consider, but simply to accept what the interlocutor says.

Rules of non-reflective hearing

This skill requires compliance with certain rules, without which a non-reflexive hearing will fail. There are only a few:

1. Full refusal of any interference with the interlocutor's speech.
2. Refusal to assess when perceiving words that the interlocutor says.
3. Concentrating your own attention precisely on the words of the interlocutor, and not on your own judgments and thoughts about his words.

Reflexive and nonreflexive listening has a significant difference: if in the first case it is the personal perception of other people's words that is emphasized, then in the second case one has to give up personal estimations.

When will the skill of non-reflective listening come in handy?

Most often, the interlocutor seeks to quickly put out their thoughts, feelings and feelings about what they heard, but not always it is appropriate. For example, in all sorts of negotiations, when it is important to understand what a person wants, it is a non-reflective listening that will allow you to quickly understand the interlocutor.

In case there is some tension in the conversation, painful questions are touched upon, it is important to let a person speak out, and not try to convince a person of his own right immediately. It is this approach that will help to solve the difficulties, rather than create new ones. If you see that a person wants to express some emotions, but does not know where to start, help him with the appropriate question: Does it bother you? "or similar. After that, you should apply the method of reflexive listening, which will allow a person to calmly tell you about what he wants to tell.

Of course, in case of discussion or dispute, this method is completely inapplicable. In any kind of business communication, a nonreflexive hearing is almost never used, because in this case communication is faced with completely different tasks. Often nonreflective listening is seen as a stepping stone to an important skill like active listening that can be used in a lot of situations and usually gives excellent results.