Assertiveness

The ability to defend one's point of view, while maintaining respect and a positive attitude towards others, is like art. This is not possible for everyone, often disputes turn into blatant abuse, as opponents forget about the topic of conversation and turn to personalities. We can say that such people lack education, and we can assume that their level of assertiveness is too low for more adequate communication. Pleases that the situation can be improved, to improve this quality, trainings are held, and one can also engage in self-development of assertiveness.

Assertiveness test

If you have doubts about your own ability to conduct a constructive dialogue, then it is worthwhile to pass a simple test for assertiveness. You need to answer "yes" or "no" to the following questions, after which you will count the scores and find out the results.

1. You are annoyed with other people's mistakes.
2. From time to time you lie.
3. You can take care of yourself on your own.
4. You are able to remind a friend of duty.
5. Rivalry is more interesting than cooperation.
6. You sometimes ride a "hare".
7. You often torture yourself over trifles.
8. You are independent and resolute.
9. You love everyone you know.
10. You believe in yourself, you have the strength to deal with current problems.
11. So it is arranged that a person should always be on guard of his interests and always be able to protect them.
12. You never laugh at indecent jokes.
13. You recognize the authorities and respect them.
14. You never allow yourself to be governed and always protest.
15. You support any kind of good undertaking.
16. You never lie.
17. You are a practical person.
18. You are very afraid of failure.
19. You agree with the thesis "The hand of help must first of all be sought from one's own shoulder".
20. You are always right, even if others think otherwise.
21. Friends have a great influence on you.
22. You agree that participation is more important than victory.
23. You always think about the opinions of others before you do anything.
24. You are not jealous of anyone.

Now calculate how many times you said yes to the questions of groups A, B and B. Group A is questions 1, 5, 7, 11, 13, 18, 21, 23. Group B - 3, 4, 8, 10 , 14, 17, 19, 22. Group B - 2, 6, 9, 12, 15, 16, 20, 24.

• the highest number of answers in group A. You understand what assertiveness is, but do not use this knowledge in practice. You are often displeased with yourself and others;
• the highest number of answers in group B. You are able to master assertiveness well, you are already acting in the right direction. Sometimes your attempts are poured into aggression;
• the greatest number of answers in group B. You also have good chances to master assertiveness, since you are able to evaluate yourself realistically, which is a necessary base for mastering any skill;
• the smallest number of answers in group A. You do not always manage to use all the chances that life gives you, but it's not a tragedy, just learn to live in harmony with yourself, understand what you really want;
• the smallest number of answers in group B. Assertiveness can be learned, the main desire;
• the smallest number of answers in group B. This result indicates an overestimation of one's own abilities and insincerity. You consider yourself better than you really are.

Development of assertiveness

For the development of this necessary quality, trainings are conducted, on which the training of assertiveness techniques is conducted. But you can work on yourself without attending courses. For this it is worth remembering a few basic principles, the observance of which is necessary for training assertiveness.

1. Answer quickly and briefly.
2. If you doubt the wisdom of the sentence, ask for an explanation.
3. When talking, look at the person, watch the change in your voice.
4. Expressing vexation or criticism, speak only about behavior, avoiding attacks on the person of the person.
5. Speak in your own name.
6. Reward yourself for confident answers.

Sometimes attempts to apply assertiveness result in insecure or aggressive behavior . Do not scold yourself for this, but analyze the situation and try to understand what the error is to avoid it the next time.