Children under the age of three are uncharacteristic or almost uncharacteristically offended - all problems kids are used to solve with demanding crying and crying. If a conflict arises, the child enters a fight or simply retires. But the baby grows and gradually begins to consciously train your conscience. Objective reality often does not coincide with his expectations, this is the reason for the formation of child offense.
Resentment is a senseless and useless feeling. Offended child, instead of saying his discontent, closes on his own feelings. He does not try to solve the problem, his goal is to provoke a feeling of guilt among those around him. This negatively affects his mood, activities and relationships with family and friends. It is important to teach the child not to save offense in himself, but to look for a constructive solution in the current situation, otherwise such a strategy of behavior risks becoming habitual and, instead of successful and realized, your kid will become an ever-dissatisfied adult - he will develop the so-called syndrome of an offended child.
Why does the child take offense?
- the child is offended if he has not learned to tell others about his desires. Surrounding it is difficult to guess what is happening at the moment in his head, and he perceives this as a disregard for his own interests, is hammered into a corner, is silent and reproaches with the eyes, supposedly, how you could;
- a child can not convey to his surroundings his feelings and emotions that are stifling him when he sees that others around him, in his opinion, are doing wrong;
- The kid uses insult, as a means of attracting attention to himself. If the child is offended by his mother, and she will in every way begin to calm him and console him, he will take it as a confirmation of love and recognition of his own needs.
How to behave with a sensitive child?
First and foremost, you need to demonstrate to him that insult is meaningless and unproductive, it aggravates the situation and in no way solves the problems. Children who feel love, support and protection of their loved ones know how to react adequately to anger - anger or sadness.
The task of parents is to help the child learn how to react correctly, you can do this as follows:
- Help the child understand exactly what he is feeling at the moment. Tell me that you understand why he is angry and how unpleasant the situation is.
- Understand and accept the emotions that arise due to conflicts with others, even if you think that the child is not right.
- Treat the child as a full-fledged person, respect his needs and desires, even if they are not feasible at the moment. Build a dialogue so that the child feels your support.
In some cases, a very touchy child needs to be re-educated. These are the situations when, through his insult, he tries to manipulate others. In such cases, you need:
- Demonstrate that this behavior will not achieve anything. It is necessary to behave, as if nothing had happened, to try to distract him with some interesting occupation;
- if the child is offended by the actions directed at other children, for example, someone was praised, but he is not, it is necessary to wean the child to be dependent on praise, to form an adequate self-esteem.
In some situations, it is simply impossible to ignore the insults - for example, if the child is offended in the kindergarten. In this case, you should teach the child to respond to the offense, not by fighting, of course, but you need to be prepared for the fact that someday this can happen.
And, at last, teach the child freedom of expression of emotions, do not pull off too stormy, in your opinion, their manifestations.